I had a love affair
My love affair with baseball is one for the books. Actually, I do plan on writing a book one day.
I admittingly have mixed feelings about this game. For a very, very long time I have hated, no loathed the term "baseball wife". It was a title given to me over eight years ago when I was at the beginning of the journey in finding myself. I did not want my greatest accomplishment in life to be who I married. I certainly gave my best RBF to those that referred to me as "Robbie Ross' wife". And I have battled with guilt of "having it all" while quietly knowing what every person with a little bit of money knows: Money does not buy happiness.
I'm curious, what path would you have chosen if life had not driven you to where you are now? I'm convinced that the Universe takes us places beyond our wildest dreams, and luckily if we let go of what we think we need, we will actually find what we've longed for all along.
I am trying to embrace the parts of my life that just are what they are. Baseball has opened doors for both Robbie and I that we never could have dreamed of. Hilariously, my life looks a lot like being split in two. Sometimes I am doing very cool things, wearing expensive gowns, attending events, parties, VIP experiences, you've seen it on my IG. And the other half of the time I am a sweaty mess from hot yoga, spending hours at home being a hermit, sleeping in below average hotels for mission 108 while working in the slums. I created this balance. Because the MLB part of life was not in alignment with who I am at my core. I love pretty things, shopping, and getting to skip the line as much as the next person. But it is just not who I am, what I care to talk about, and does not fullfill me. It does some people. That's fantastic. I wish I could be that easily amused.
But I am not.
Mission 108 gave me an oppurtunity to use my voice for good, be an activist, be the opiniated, robust woman that society either loves or hates.
This year, I have refelcted on opening up to the parts of my life and lifestyle that are not going away. Robbie's injury gave me a new perspective on the game. When his injury was so severe prior to surgery, I just wanted him to be able to walk again. After surgery and seeing his progress, I realized I am in love with this sport. This game, these ballparks, these oppurtunites are once in a lifetime. It is short, and sweet, and another season is not garunteed. This is my love affair. The nostalgia of smelling the fresh cut grass of a big league spring training field brings a smile to my face. Seeing Robbie throw a baseball melts me into a puddle knowing He is one of the very few living a childhood dream in front of thousands of fan across the world.
Wow. I am so grateful. This title, "Baseball wife" is one of the truest of who I am in this stage of life. I am married to the game. Committed to it. I give it my dedication, countless hours at the ballpark, arrange my schedule, life, and commitments around whereever it may take me. Some of my friends are gearing up to leave for ST this week. We are in free agency, and waiting to find a team. I am watching my friends stress out about leaving family and friends AGAIN. And it never gets easier. The off season is so restful (for most, unless you are me and you are crazy), so incrediby fullfilling to be surrounded by people you love, and actually know you'll be in one city longer than a holy second. But the season is where dreams come true. The season is where growth happens. Life comes alive. It is fast paced and exilherating. Now is usually the time where my panic sets in. Where did my off season go? Where was I for all of it? How did I forget to in inhale every moment? Why has it taken me four months to remember to enjoy it, soak it all in? Why does four months fly by, but by mid May I am wondering why this season is so effing long?
But I am rearranging all of those thoughts and remembering that every single day is such a gift. Even the hard ones. And trust me, we have had some really tough days. I know you have too. This love affair that I am tanlged in, is obvioulsy the only one my husband will endorse, but it is also one that has shaped me into the woman I am today. The beginning of my adult years at only 19 years old began at a baseball park in Spokane, Washington where I lead my family to our seats and watched Robbie start and throw shut out innings on opening day. Three years later he pitched in the 7th inning on opening day for the Texas Rangers. I was sitting with my in-laws thinking this has to be a big deal, but wasn't sure just how big of a deal it truly was. Baseball wasn't in my DNA, and I was definietly not a fan. Robbie's dad explained the game to me, and I watched how his mom reacted to certain plays in between worrying about how I was going to fit in with the other wives.
I didn't, by the way.
Six years later, 1 trade, 3 dogs, 12 houses, 18 moves, countelss innings, road trips, flights, memories, tears, laughs, friends, and experinces later I am falling in love with this game again. Or, maybe truly for the first time ever.
I am still the girl that hates small talk, and goes deep in our first conversation. Still the actvist that needs big things to throw herself into other than the game of baseball, still the woman rebelling against the unwritten rules of the family room, still running Mission 108, leading teams across the world to foriegn countries, still captivated by cultures not my own, and will probably never be the girl that shows up in the first inning of a 9 inning anything.
But I am also proud to be a baseball wife. Here is a small part of the last twelve years together, and the love affiar we have for the game of baseball.
Highschool Rob and Britt. Literal BABIES. Look at those bedazzled jeans...
Cowboy/girl (questionable) rookie Robbie Ross loving his life.
Me freaking out that the freaking former Pres told me he knew who I was. "The woman married to the kid with a pink backpack". Might be my most memorable event in life.
The time we became friends with the guy from Pitch Perfect and baby Britt learned the hard way what too many shots are. Robbie forever refers to that night as "getting New Yorked" and I am forever scared by liquor in Manhattan. Also, thankful I now know the importance of eyebrows framing the face.
Spring Training. Photo taken right before I realized that Camelback mountain is an actual mountain, and camelback backpacks are named after this sucker for a reason. That hiking experience is not only reccommended for such a mountain as this, it is required if you don't want to almost die. Also, this is right before I considered being air lifted down. See that girl. Her smile is proof that she is a niave young duck. The only thing that kept her from the emergency airlift was her aunt reminding her that it would likely make the news. And the entire Texas Rangers team would not let her live this one down.
For the record, I survived. And this is not a hike. It is a full fledge Climb to the Heavens. And that stair case is not-a-joke. Object appears smaller through this photograph. Do Not be fooled.
Traded to the Boston Redsox and learned that I am in fact, solar powered. This is a girl that needs sunshine, more than three minutes of summer. Boston, I loved so much about you but not the weather depression you gave me for three solid years. Lord, please send us somewhere with the earths Vitamin D.
Nothing changed. Robbie is still a show off. That tattoo sleeve though.
Playoffs. ALDS. enough said.
Post back surgery 2017. Robbie allows nothing to get him down. Even shows his naked Hiney to all the nurses on camera. (See old Instagram post for proof) I am starting to believe he only gets more ornery with age. Bless me.
This is it yall. This is life.
-BAR